by The Grim ~V~eeper
Greetings,
everyone...and welcome to this edition of
Celebrity Cemetary, the Grim ~V~eeper's Obituary Page.
DEATH POLL POINTS NEWS
It was looking like a very boring February, until
Gemmie's Mike broke the ice in a big way with a whopping
51 points by picking the biggest story of the year so
far:
"We've
lost Dale Earnhardt"
NASCAR President Mike Helton
 Feb. 18: NASCAR motor
racing legend Dale Earnhardt Sr. died of injuries
after a dramatic crash in the final turn of the last lap
of the 43rd Daytona 500. He was 49. Earnhardt, a
seven-time NASCAR Winston Cup champion and known on the
track as ``The Intimidator'', never regained
consciousness after the high-speed collision. Earnhardt,
a native of Kannapolis, N.C., had won more than $41
million as the biggest career money-winner in NASCAR. His
seven Winston Cup season titles was matched only by
Richard Petty.
Gemmie's Mike now has a healthy lead in this year's Death
Poll 2001. But don't dispair, players. If you're looking
for encouragement, here's the latest from the SICKTICKER
at www.stiffs.com ...
Princess Caroline undergoes surgery after being injured
in skiing accident... Salman Rushdie back on Iranian shit
list... Vaclav Havel, diagnosed with pneumonia, is in
stable condition... Johnny Cash hospitalized, also with
pneumonia, also in stable condition... Boris Yeltsin may
have viral infection, may be stinking drunk... Jerry
Lewis recovering from back surgery... Dudley Moore
babbling away about nothing...
A friend of Celebrity Cemetery turned the ~V~eeper on to
our twisted site of the month, which comes to us from the
U.K. It is vedy British in tone, but a lot of good,
wholesome, demented fun for the whole family ... http://www.findadeath.com/ ...This guy gives
an exhaustive recap to every celebrity death, from the
sensational (Nicole Brown Simpson) to the pedestrian
(DeForest Kelly). It's opinionated and vaguely cool in a
chipping-the-nose-off-Jim-Morrison's-gravestone-for-a-souvenir
kind of way.
In our
other featured highlight of February's death toll, we
also bid farwell to another famous Dale E:
Feb. 7: Dale Evans, the singer-actress who teamed
with husband Roy Rogers in popular Westerns and co-wrote
their theme song, "Happy Trails to You," died
at age 88 in Apple Valley, CA.(The Roy Rogers Museum in
Victorville, CA stated that the rumors regarding Dale
being stuffed and mounted alongside Trigger are untrue.
That might be worth the admission price to see...maybe).
And
here's the rest of this month's corpses, piled up in the
usual categories:
MUSIC: um,...there wasn't any, really
ACTORS: ditto, at least no one YOU
know...
SPORTS
 Feb. 18: Eddie Mathews, who hit 512 home
runs in a Hall of Fame career and was the only person to
play for the Braves in Boston, Milwaukee and Atlanta,
died of respiratory failure brought on by pneumonia in La
Jolla, CA. (Two days before, his former road roomate, Bob Buhl, also passed away,
also of respitory failure.) He was 69. Along with making
it to Cooperstown, Mathews used his powerful left-handed
swing to land on the first cover of Sports Illustrated.
Jan. 29: Curt Blefary, the 1965 American
League rookie of the year who was also a member of the
Baltimore Orioles team that won the 1966 World Series,
died in Pompano Beach, Fla. at his home of chronic
pancreatitis and related ailments. He was 57.
Feb. 2: Eddie Parker, the pool shark whose life was
said to have inspired the movie "The Hustler,"
died of an apparent heart attack on South Padre Island,
TX. He was 69. Parker, known as "Fast Eddie,"
died at the U.S. Classic Billiards Eight-ball Showdown,
officials said.
Feb. 21: Bill Rigney, the first manager of the Angels
and by far the winningest skipper in club history, died
of complications from pneumonia in Walnut Creek, Calif.
He was 83. He was also the first manager of the Giants
after they moved from New York to San Francisco.
MISC
. . .
Feb. 16: Dr. William H. Masters, one of the first
and leading researchers in the field of human sexuality,
died in a Tucson, Ariz. hospital of complications from
Parkinson's disease, a hospital spokeswoman said. He was
85.
Feb. 7: Anne Morrow Lindbergh, who blazed air
routes with her husband, Charles, at the dawn of
commercial aviation and was one of the past century's
most important and popular American women writers and
diarists, died at her home in Passumpsic, Vt. She was 94.
 Feb. 8:
Arlene Eisenberg, co-author with her two daughters
of the best-selling pregnancy guide "What to Expect
When You're Expecting," died of breast cancer at
Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City.
She was 66. Since its release by Workman Publishing Co.
in 1984, the book has become the bible of pregnancy, with
9.6 million copies sold.(Dammit, wrong Eisenberg. If it
had been Haile Eisenberg, the Pepsi girl, some of our
players would have been pleased)
And
finally, an enjoyable case of Instant Karma:
 Jan. 29: Alexander Spears
III, a former chairman and chief executive of
Lorillard Tobacco Co., died of lung cancer in Greensboro,
NC. He was 68. (This is THE evil tobacco exec guy who
stated nicotine wasn't addictive in a Florida second-hand
smoke trial. Lorillard was also caught marketing to
teenagers and lots of other misdeeds. The Web is loaded
with sites on this, but a good summary can be found at http://tobacco.neu.edu/tcu/3-1/lorillard.htm
(Evil tobacco guy? Dies of lung cancer? I'm sorry, but
this celebrity corpse pleases the ~V~eep-man to no end
MOO HOO HOO HAA HAAAAH!)
Stay
tuned to the page for an up and coming Dead Or Alive game
to test your C.Q. (Cadaver Quotent) that will be
debutting within the next couple of months.
So,
farewell until next month,
DG~V~
Celebrity
Death Poll 2001 player's picks
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