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Beseen.com


March 2001

 


by Bunella

Here it is March already....Valentine's Day gone and maybe the romanticism of the relationship with it. I have always thought that someone should be good to their significant other the entire year, not just on a sweetheart's holiday, but alas the case just isn't so.

Many of my female friends complain that there isn't enough romance in their lives (even the ones that are in relationships - ha ha). The pressures of jobs, children and everyday issues often gets in the way. Some days you love him, often you hate him and there are times when you really don't even like him. Stressed out and angry, arguments occur and we think......who is this person I'm involved with? Divorces have been started over less, I'm sure.

I think we need to understand the changing influences and feelings in relationships. If you accept that things change daily at your job; you don't feel the same about your boss or your co-workers every day, then why can't we accept that we don't feel the same way in a relationship every day? That we can't be expected to love someone the same amount every day or even like them if they piss us off?

The following is something I clipped out a long time ago and have had it taped to the kitchen cabinet ever since. It's helped me through some rocky spots in my relationship. Feel free to cut it out and use it for your own.

When you love someone, you do not love him or her in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on continuity, when the only continuity possible is in growth, in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass but partners in the same pattern. The only real security in a relationship lies neither in looking back in nostalgia, nor forward in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.

Quote by Ann Morrow Lindbergh who passed away February 7, 2001 at the age of 94.

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If you'd like certain topics addressed, feel free to email me at
Bunella@aol.com