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March 2001


Eminem: Plain or Peanut

Bunny Sez: Peanut

“I'm Bunny, yes I'm the real Bunny,
All you other Bunnies are just imitating,
So won't the real Bunny please hop up,
please hop up, please hop up?”

(parodied from the “Marshall Mathers LP)

Okay I have to admit that being a mother of two young teens, I repeatedly heard the real version of Eminem’s above lyrics on the radio and actually knew the words to the chorus as it appeared to be a catchy tune. Although, I also must admit that due to the intricacies of driving while talking on my cell phone, I only had a slowly dawning reality as to what the lyrics actually said.

Once I was bathed in the bright sunlight of reality, I really had to struggle with what hearing these lyrics meant to my kids. Should I ban them from his music? Yeah, right, that would work….NOT! They would only want to listen to the songs even more and sneak around behind my back while visiting less stringent households or use Napster to download and play it. Now don’t think for a minute that my children are na´ve - they aren’t -I have raised them to be as honest and loving as I can - however, due to the financial necessity of their attending public school, I know that they know what the word “fag”, etc. mean. My only hope is that while they like the music that they recognize it as an artform rather than a mantra for their lives.

While most of Eminem’s songs are full of hatred and venom towards those who aren’t an “Em-clone”, the nuttiest thing is the song “Stan”. This ditty is about an obsessive fan named Stan who gets progressively angrier when the object of his obsession doesn’t write back after a deluge of letters. He ultimately ends up tying up his pregnant girlfriend and placing her in the trunk of his car while driving and making a tape to his idol during which he promptly runs the car off a bridge. But at the end of the song, he plays the rapster who promptly gives a lecture on morals and behavior to his number one fan while referring to a news story he had read and ending with the dawning realization that his fan was the subject of the news story. He also gets holier than thou attitude in a song called “Who Knew”. I can’t believe that this “singer” (I use this reference loosely) has the temerity to lecture when the vast majority of his songs contain more sins than the average Father hears in a lifetime in the confessional. Go figure, huh??

One can only hope that the next news story we hear about this nut is when he falls down. Never happen you say? The baggy pants whose crotch hangs to his knees will cause him to trip and may well get him in the end. Speaking of him getting it in the end - maybe he will spend part of the rest of his life in the state pen with his new 7 foot, 300 pound “loverboy”. I wonder who he will call a “fag” then?

Coug Sez: Plain

Eminem, a.k.a. Marshall Mathers, has recently become one of the most provocative, controversial rappers in contemporary pop music. His lyrics sensationally depict rampant drug use, rape, sex, and violence.

To this I respond: Big Friggin’ Deal!

He’s hardly the first rapper to venture into these subject areas, and I’m sure he won’t be the last. So what’s all the fuss about? Well, I’ll tell you ... brace yourself, though ... time to start blow-drying Ted Koppel’s hair, because this one’s gonna be our lead story tonight .... he’s WHITE!!! Ack! Say it ain’t so!!

Eminem was nothing more than the next Vanilla Ice, sentenced to forever toil in obscurity, until he was signed by Dr Dre’s label, Aftermath Entertainment. It’s then and only then, under the tutelage of an old school rapper, that Eminem’s popularity began to take off. Then came the controversies, a staple of the rap publicity juggernaut, which included being sued by his own mother, an arrest for pulling a gun at a nightclub, his wife's suicide attempt, almost getting banned from Canada, an impending divorce, a boycott by the members of GLAAD, getting sued by his wife, and his lyrics being cited in a Senate hearing on violence in the entertainment industry. {s yawn ... been there, read about that!!

Eminem hasn’t done anything that hasn’t been done before. The media just pays more attention to it because of his color. And regardless of what he may do in the future, my long standing motto of
“If it’s rap, it’s crap” will never change!!