<Voice
of Ed McMahon> Greetings, everyone...and welcome to a
special edition of Celebrity Cemetery...
<drumroll>
From Television
City in Burbank, CA, it's.....
The Afterlife Tonight Show with guest host The Grim
Veeper
And heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeees Grimmy!
<cue music> <applause>
Thank you, Ed... thank you everyone...you're far too
kind...
Well, it's great to be here and I tell ya, this
summer...its been a hot one...
<audience silence>
I said "IT'S BEEN A HOT SUMMER"
<audience: HOW HOT IS IT?>
Finally! <chuckle> Well, I tell ya, it's been so
hot that the football practices have a body count...
<audience: groan>
Hey! I don't make this stuff up....There have
been 11 football-related fatalities this year, ranging
from middle schools to the pros. The two most notable:
Aug 1: Korey Stringer, died due to
complications from heat stroke. A first-round pick out of
Ohio State in the 1995 draft, Stringer stepped into the
lineup immediately as the Minnesota Vikings Right Tackle
and started 91 of the 93 games he played in.
Aug 3: Rashidi Wheeler, died after
collapsing during a conditioning drill. The stimulant
ephedrine, which Wheeler reportedly had taken the day of
his death, may have contributed to the death of this
Strong Safety from Northwestern University.
Oh! Say... guess which cat doesn't have nine lives?
(Ed) One of your ex-wives?
Ed, that doesn't make sense...
(Ed) Julie Newmar? growwwwl...
You're drunk again, aren't you, Ed?
(Ed) Hiyooo!
<sigh> No, I'm talking about Garfield!
Aug 5: Lorenzo Music, died in Los
Angeles from bone-cancer. He was the voice of Carlton,
the unseen drunk doorman of the TV series
"Rhoda," as well as Garfield the Cat, a crash
dummy and a pig Latin-spouting spokesperson for the Queen
Mary. He was 64.
And in
other news, we had two more players break the ice in
Death Poll 2001 ... Weber received a whopping 40 points
for this presidential daughter:
Aug 8: Maureen Reagan, died from skin
cancer. This outspoken presidential daughter became a
crusader for Alzheimer's disease awareness after her
father fell ill. She was the first child of Ronald Reagan
from his first marriage to actress Jane Wyman. She died
peacefully at her Sacramento-area home at the age of 60.
...and
last year's co-champion Twins gets 16 points for this
off-the-wall pick:
Aug 10: Lou
Boudreau, dead in Olympia Falls, IL, of cardiac
arrest. This Hall of Fame shortstop managed the Cleveland
Indians to the 1948 World Series championship. Boudreau
was named the Indians' honorary captain for this current
season, but failing health prevented him from attending
opening-day ceremonies. His 13 seasons with the Indians,
nine as a player/manager, included many milestones. In
1941, He became the youngest manager in baseball history
at age 24. He managed the team that integrated the
American League, when Larry Doby joined the Indians in
1947. And, he was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1970. He
was 84.
Well,
we have a great show tonight, featuring these
freshly-deceased stars:
Aug 3: Christopher Hewett, the British-born
stage actor perhaps best remembered as television's
endearing English butler "Mr. Belvedere" from
1985 to 1990. He was 80.
Aug 14: Earl
Anthony, died at a friend's home in suburban
Milwaukee. He was a six-time Professional Bowlers
Association bowler of the year, and its greatest winner
with 41 professional titles. The crew-cut, bespectacled
Anthony was one of bowling's most familiar faces when the
sport was a weekly fixture on television in the 1970s. He
was its first player to break the $1-million barrier in
winnings. He was 63.
Aug 20: Kim
Stanley, died in Sante Fe, NM, of uterine cancer.
She was best known on Broadway in the 1950s for such
roles as Cherie, the small-town "chantoosie" of
William Inge's "Bus Stop". Stanley appeared in
five motion pictures, beginning with "The
Goddess" in 1958 and ending with "The Right
Stuff" in 1983. Despite her limited film output,
Stanley received two Oscar nominations: for her portrayal
of the crazed medium in "Seance on a Wet
Afternoon" (1964), then (after an 18-year screen
absence) for the raging mother of Frances Farmer in
"Frances" (1982). She was 76.
Aug 25: Aaliyah
(Haughton), killed along with eight other people when
a small Cessna passenger plane crashed and burst into
flames shortly after taking off from an island in the
Bahamas. This R&B sensation sold a million copies of
her 1994 debut album "Age Ain't Nothing But a
Number", and more recently the single "Try
Again" became a big hit. She was only 22.
So,
stay tuned until next month...and awayyyyy we go!
From Television
City in Burbank, CA, it's.....
Ed, that doesn't make sense...
Aug 10: Lou
Boudreau, dead in Olympia Falls, IL, of cardiac
arrest. This Hall of Fame shortstop managed the Cleveland
Indians to the 1948 World Series championship. Boudreau
was named the Indians' honorary captain for this current
season, but failing health prevented him from attending
opening-day ceremonies. His 13 seasons with the Indians,
nine as a player/manager, included many milestones. In
1941, He became the youngest manager in baseball history
at age 24. He managed the team that integrated the
American League, when Larry Doby joined the Indians in
1947. And, he was elected to the Hall of Fame in 1970. He
was 84.
Aug 14: Earl
Anthony, died at a friend's home in suburban
Milwaukee. He was a six-time Professional Bowlers
Association bowler of the year, and its greatest winner
with 41 professional titles. The crew-cut, bespectacled
Anthony was one of bowling's most familiar faces when the
sport was a weekly fixture on television in the 1970s. He
was its first player to break the $1-million barrier in
winnings. He was 63.
Aug 20: Kim
Stanley, died in Sante Fe, NM, of uterine cancer.
She was best known on Broadway in the 1950s for such
roles as Cherie, the small-town "chantoosie" of
William Inge's "Bus Stop". Stanley appeared in
five motion pictures, beginning with "The
Goddess" in 1958 and ending with "The Right
Stuff" in 1983. Despite her limited film output,
Stanley received two Oscar nominations: for her portrayal
of the crazed medium in "Seance on a Wet
Afternoon" (1964), then (after an 18-year screen
absence) for the raging mother of Frances Farmer in
"Frances" (1982). She was 76.
Aug 25: Aaliyah
(Haughton), killed along with eight other people when
a small Cessna passenger plane crashed and burst into
flames shortly after taking off from an island in the
Bahamas. This R&B sensation sold a million copies of
her 1994 debut album "Age Ain't Nothing But a
Number", and more recently the single "Try
Again" became a big hit. She was only 22.