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September 2000


by Mary Xmas

Godzilla 2000:
Wow! Tokyo has a major lizard problem.
How many times can Hollywood revive this humongous reptile? Last time we saw him he was battling the
Taco Bell chihuahua. {S HereLizard

Murder, She Wrote: A German man is accused of killing his ex-wife, Nancy, after both appeared on Jerry Springer. Charges against Ralf Panitz have been reduced from 1st to 2nd degree murder based on available evidence. Nancy was beaten to death on July 24 in Sarasota just a few hours after she, Ralf, and his current wife Eleanor, all appeared on an episode of Springer entitled, "Secret Mistresses Confronted". The charges can be upgraded to first degree murder if additional evidence is found. So...what about the tape of the show? Isn't that enough evidence to convict white trailer trash of premeditated stupidity?

Eye Of The Tiger: No it's not the defunct 80's band, it's the CBS mega-show Survivor. So, who wanted to be a millionaire? Apparently 16 castaways all thought they had a good chance. But in the end, the one left standing was Richard Hatch (the self referenced f-n-f). I don't know how many times David Letterman whined about how the Big Brother houseguests voted "the stripper" out of the house, while the Survivor castaways were keeping "the naked guy" on the island. But, during his Top 10 countdown the night the winner was announced, Dave just couldn't resist having this naked Dick on his show either. Anything for CBS ratings!

What the Heche? Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche announced on August 18th that after 3 1/2 years together they were amicably parting ways. Maybe if Anne hadn't done a "Margot Kidder" immediately following the press release tktwrtr would have been pleased.

A magic carpet ride: Also on Friday August 18th, was the opening of Las Vegas' newest resort -- The Aladdin Hotel & Casino. The previous night's grand opening festivities included a camel procession led by Barbara Eden, star the 1960s TV sitcom classic I Dream of Jeannie. Now why hasn't CBS's Big Brother thought of something like this? All we get is Brittany and a dog.