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September 2000


Bunny Sez:

Cats Rule, Dogs Drool

Okay, okay so who cares if their poop looks like non-pareil candies? At least cats are smart enough to poop in a box in the first place! Dogs just poop any old place they sniff out in the yard. And what is this sniffing people in their fannies? How attractive. Not! Cats have much more refinement than that.

Cats are intelligent creatures with a whole lot of attitude. That is what is intriguing about owning them as pets - their attitude. Have you ever seen a cat run full tilt into an obstacle, shake himself off, and walk away like he meant to do it? That is an attitude many humans would do well to emulate, particularly politicians (but that is a horse of a different color).

Cats saved humankind from eradication from the Bubonic plague by decreasing the rodent population. Cats were prized by settlers on the prairie to protect their harvested crops from pests. Cats have also been known to warn their human masters of impending doom and peril like earthquakes, fires or other natural disasters.

Cats lower your blood pressure by lying purring in your lap. They don't chew on $75.00 Etienne Aigner shoes like a dog, which would only raise your blood pressure.

Cats do come when you call them and they do know their names. They are just smart enough to not appear when they deem it unsafe for them to do so. Life without cats to run purring to greet you would be a catastrophe.

Coug Sez:

Bunny, you ignorant slut! (you know I had to do it!)

I hadn't had a pet since my childhood before I married Bunny.
Now I have two dogs, five cats, five rats, a lizard, and if I'm not mistaken, the guppy from last spring's science project is still swimming around in his hermetically sealed jar.

I would have settled for just a dog.

Have you ever seen a cat frolicking on the beach playing Frisbee with their owner? Ever had a lousy day at work and pulled up behind a pickup truck at a stoplight and seen a cat's head pop up and look at you, tail waggin' ninety mph? I can count on one hand the number of articles I've read where a cat has foiled a burglary (Cougar eye roll). A $70 pair of shoes? Try an $800 couch ruined by Ginsu cat claws!!!

But worst of all, we have one room in our home where the majority of the cats hang out, and as it just so happens, our computer is also in this room. Imagine with me if you will, a smell so vile that the neighborhood flies are on a waiting list to vacation in this room.

Man's best friend uses the great outdoors.

Case closed.

P.S. Any dog worth his salt would have a cat-ass-trophy on his mantle!! :>