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December 2000


Dear Yenta:

The other day my girlfriend came over with a male friend that I hadn't met before. It was just a drop in visit, around a 10 minute stay. Immediately upon arrival, this guy, whom I have never met before, stepped inside my living room and took his sneakers right off. I was completely offended, but didn't say anything.

Is it normally considered rude when company comes over and takes their shoes off? I have noticed that when my sister-in-law comes over to visit she always takes off her sandals. I never say anything because it's not really noticable. I mean, sandals just kinda slip on and off in a second or two. When she sits down on the couch the sandals kinda stay right in front of her on the floor while her feet dangle above them. I view this as kinda different then what that guy did. Am I just being compulsive?

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service

Dear Stunned by Shoeless People,

The Yenta herself prefers bare feet to shoes so maybe she cannot be objective about this. However, the Yenta would say "is it all right if I take off my shoes"? Some households prefer that you do take them off unless of course, you haven't washed your feet in ages. Was the young man emitting noxious fumes from the foot area? Did he have socks on? Were they clean? Did they in fact, stay only 10 minutes or did the visit extend itself?

If nothing was offensive about it, I'd say let it go. However the next time when they come over you might say: "Oh, you don't have to remove your shoes in my house" and see what they do.

P.S. Perhaps you feel self conscious about your own feet? Maybe it's time you got a pedicure and got over it.....Happy New Year!

The Yenta