Attention all readers! Here is YOUR
page. Step up onto
the SOAP BOX and tell us your thoughts, feelings, or
ideas
on any subject of general interest.
I support personal hygiene. In fact, I
engage in the practice on a daily basis, as do most
people. Before we even learn to walk, we're taught to
wash our hands, take a bath every day, brush our teeth,
comb our hair and wear clean clothes. This makes it a lot
easier for others to be around us. It also prevents
certain types of disease. In my opinion, that's a big
bonus. Being clean and neat has many advantages which
have not gone unnoticed by me.
My daughter, who is 13 years old, is an even bigger fan
of grooming than I am. She fusses over her hair, takes
two to three showers a day and is constantly spritzing
herself with some stuff that smells like raspberries
which she got for her last birthday. This is all very
lovely and I applaud her efforts where cleanliness and
smelling pretty are concerned. However, one routine that
she's recently developed has me a bit uneasy. This would
be the application of a face full of makeup combined with
an inventive utilization of the clothes we buy her. Each
morning, she transforms herself from a sweet-faced 13
year old into a very short 25 year old. No. I don’t
like this at all. In fact, it's the source of many an
argument that my daughter and I have. I always win
because I'm bigger, but I've learned a few things and
become angry with the world in the process.
Our fights over her wardrobe and face paint have awakened
me to the fact that Western Civilization, despite making
leaps and bounds in general social consciousness, still
teaches our little girls that they only really have value
if they look pretty, or better yet, sexy. As much as I've
tried to encourage my daughter to rate herself by her
accomplishments, she still thinks that her life will be
perfect only if people think she's pretty. I asked her
where she gets this point of view from, but never get a
clear answer. Just a shrug and an “I don’t
know”.
However, in watching the world that surrounds her, I've
figured out where she gets this notion from. She watches
television in the evenings and most of the commercials
have women who are more beautiful than anything one would
see walking on the street being admired because they use
a certain shampoo or drink a certain type of soft drink.
But TV isn’t the only place where she's bombarded
with this. Oh no. A few weeks back, at the grocery store,
I noticed the teen magazines in the rack by the checkout
and I started to thumb through them. One of the articles
tells our teenage girls how to get the boy they like to
notice them by wearing their makeup or hair a certain
way. I was flushed with anger after reading the first
paragraph of that article and it was all I could do to
put the magazine back without first ripping it to shreds.
But wait!! There’s more!! I've noticed that OTHER
girls are teaching my daughter to compete for male
attention at an age where she’s just now starting to
understand her own body and sex, but has yet to come to
terms with the surge of hormones raging through her body
every second. All of these girls are teaching each other
that what is in these magazines and on television is just
the way this tough world works.
We have a fight on our hands as parents. In fact, to
these teens, we aren’t really their parents at all.
Not anymore. Julia Roberts and Marilyn Manson are their
parents now. We're just those people who feed them and
boss them around. That doesn’t mean I have no hope
for ourselves as parents. I think that if we keep
pestering them, something might sink in. I believe that
one day they will start to notice us again and maybe even
listen to what we’ve been saying. No supermodel or
rock star or actress gives our daughters the
unconditional love that we do. One day, they'll be the
teachers, fashion designers, magazine editors, doctors
and marketing directors and maybe on that day they'll
remember what we’ve taught them about their true
value. Maybe on that day they'll also teach our
granddaughters to value themselves during their crucial
formative years. It will be a great day when girls and
women recognize that their value lies in their hearts and
souls. Until then, I will battle to the death with Shania
Twain and Ricky Martin for my daughter’s life.
Kim - Tarqness
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