JOKES----
Rated
PG - Black Balls
Every week the teacher gave her students an exceptionally
hard question to answer. Since the question was given on
a Thursday, the reward for getting it right was
permission to skip school the next day, giving them an
extra long weekend. No one in the class had ever gotten
one of these tough questions right. (An example of one of
her questions is: How many grains of sand are in the
sierra desert?) One day a boy from the class was outside
for recess, playing in the bushes. He discovered two
black, rubber balls. He had no idea what they were for,
so he just shoved them into his pocket. When recess was
over, everyone gathered for the new question of the week.
The teacher began to write it on the board. The boy
grabbed the balls from his pocket and threw them at the
teacher, hitting her in the back of the head! Astonished,
the teacher turned around and yelled, "Who's the
comedian with the two black balls? " The boy then
said, "Bill Cosby. See ya next week."
Rated
PG - The Bear and
the Rabbit
A bear and a rabbit were crapping in the woods. The bear
turned to the rabbit and asked, "Do you have trouble
with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replied,
"No, I don't." So, the bear picked up the
rabbit and wiped his butt with him.
Rated
PG - Harassment
A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her
that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes
into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants
to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The
supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's
wrong with the co-worker telling you your hair smells
nice?" The woman replies, "He's a midget."
QUICKIES
- Rated G - R - Something for everyone
Q. How do you catch a bra?
A. Set a boobie trap.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A. Pregnant.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a
flasher approached them and got his dick out. The first
old lady had a stroke, the second old lady had a stroke
and the third old lady was too far away!
THINK
A GALLON OF GAS IS EXPENSIVE?? LOOK WHAT A GALLON OF
THESE COST!----
Chanel No.5
Rogaine Extra Strength
Revlon nail enamel
Pronto lice-killing shampoo
Johnnie Walker Black Label scotch
Vicks 44D cough syrup
Pepto-Bismol
Johnsons baby shampoo
Wendy's chili
Clorox bleach |
$45,056.00
$1,599.68
$983.04
$457.28
$141.24
$96.67
$58.52
$31.48
$15.84
$2.64
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QUOTES
OF THE MONTH----by Rodney Dangerfield
"I
was such an ugly kid........When I played in the sandbox
the cat kept covering me up"
"I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast
fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a
friend"
"We were poor...Why if I wasn't born a boy...I'd
have nothing to play with"
"A girl phoned me the other day and said. "Come
on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was
home."
TRIVIAL
TRIVIA----
Ropesville, Lariat and Loop are all towns in Texas.
In Medievil Japan, dentists extracted teeth with their
hands.
In Athens, Greece, you can lose your drivers license for
being 'poorly dressed' or 'unbathed'.
The most used expression of any language on earth is
'OK'.
5% of Americans say they 'never' make their beds.
Blue neckties sell the best. Red ties are second.
Over 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from
using products made for right-handed people.
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
LETS
EAT AT HOME TONITE----These items are from real
menus
Horse-rubbish sauce (Rome)
Torture soup (Djerba)
Terminal soup (Istanbul)
Farte aux Fraises (Turkey)
Frozen Soap with Peccadilloes (Madrid)
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